Living Room Refresh and Friendsgiving

This time of year is always strange. The change in season, the daylight saving time change and the holidays are a lot to take in. See, I have a love-hate relationship with change. While I know it’s necessary and always for the best, I fundamentally dislike the initial discomfort it brings. So when all of these overlapping environmental changes affect my routine, I have a hard time catching up. With chores, holiday plans and invitations and ultimately with my own thoughts and feelings. This ‘weirdness’ in the context of the festive holiday atmosphere makes for a bizarre experience. I guess this is what some people call the ‘holiday blues’.

The yang to those blues is definitely the friends and family we get to catch up with during this time. Really connecting and being thankful for each other is what I think gets me through the last months of the year. Strangely enough, welcoming friends into our home makes me yearn for change in our living space, which for the past two years I’ve translated into upgrading our throw pillows.

The three weeks before our Friendsgiving celebration have traditionally become a redecoration frenzy, strangely focused on our living room. Maybe because this is going to be one of the last spaces we renovate? Maybe because it’s the first space you see when you walk into the main floor of the house? Or maybe because it distracts me from obsessing over every single detail of the table setting for Friendsgiving.

Styling the Living Room Shelf and Cleaning up the Clutter

This year, I decided to also take on the dusty shelf by the stairs that lead to the second bedroom level. Over time, this shelf has collected all kinds of junk. Some of it important, like appliance manuals and fabric samples. Some of it less useful like a copy of the Art of War and The Life and Death of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs.

I set a tight budget and went through Overstock looking for all the pretty things, including some faux flowers and all the white ceramic anythings. I also ordered a leather box to store all the manuals, so they could remain on the shelf. Slowly, the packages arrived and I had the goods!

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Living Room Refresh

After getting the shelf in shape, I tackled the sofa.

Last year, I had similarly tried to give the living room a sort of refresh with some new pillows and decor items— but since I was on an even tighter budget then, it didn’t make much of a difference.

However, that initial update set it up nicely for this year, when the addition of several pillows, a faux plant, a shaggy throw over the silver stool and a fantastic house cleaning did the trick. (It also helped that we had replaced our coffee table and blue rug this past summer.) After fussing around with the old and new pillows for half an hour and a couple of texts back and forth with mom, we had a fresh living room.

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The Tent

We were ready to receive our friends and excited to get another successful Friendsgiving in the books. A couple of weeks before the party, while getting a final-ish count, we realized more people had confirmed than we could seat inside the house. The party had grown beyond our previous set-up where we had moved the coffee table aside and set up 13 feet of table in our living room to accommodate about 16 people. This year, that would not be enough. Including the kids, we were going to be between 26 and 30 people.

Enter the tent.

At the beginning of least year’s summer (2016) Mike laid out the top retaining wall and had the top terrace infilled. This created a perfect space for outdoor parties and for staging construction materials. Originally, we didn’t have this space in mind for Friendsgiving yet were pleasantly surprised to find a standard-sized tent that fit the space like a glove.

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Since we did not receive the tent until a couple of days before the party, we didn’t get a chance to test out the heat or the lights. This gave me mild anxiety. Mike insisted from the beginning that it was all going to work out and that it was going to be awesome. I certainly agreed with the awesome part, just wasn’t sure about the ‘it working out’ part.

The anxiety-inducing premonitions ranged from the space heater melting the tent to the lights not being bright enough. I also worried that if the tent didn’t melt that we would all die from carbon monoxide poisoning from the space heater. After asking Mike to re-read the instruction manual for the heater, he reassured me (again) it was indicated for indoor use.

Then it started to rain.

Friendsgiving

As everyone made their way up the stairs and into the tent, I felt mild panic. Something had to go wrong. The table wasn’t really set and I wasn’t sure we were all going to fit as we had originally planned. Then, I mentioned this to the group and everyone began moving tables so we would all be comfortable. I ran back to check on the turkey and the next time I went back up to the tent everything was perfect. Everyone had drinks and snacks and there was music playing. Between the cheerful chatting and the rain, the tent was really loud. The party was pretty great.

We served all the amazing dishes everyone brought along with our massive 25lb turkey. As always, we had an entire pie leftover and a lot of extra mashed potatoes. We finished the night with some bourbon and cigars and everyone had a nice time.

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Keeping this tradition has definitely continued the process of tightening our net. Experiencing the night unfold as everyone moved in to help move tables, bring hot dishes out of the oven, and play with each other’s kids was really special. By the end of the night, it felt like we were not the ones to thank for hosting the party. Rather that we should be thanking our friends– individually and as a collective. As the people who continuously choose us as family and who show up for us unconditionally.

These guys…

Every time we get together with Mike’s guys, someone comments on how wonderful yet uncommon their friendship is. How remarkable it is that after 30+ years (you guys are getting old 😉 ) they continue to show up for each other. Especially since there’s seven of them. Seeing their unconditional exchange of time, favors, advice and all kinds of odd support (often in the guise of Bourbon tastings) has taught me a lot in the last two years.

The ease with which they ask each other for help and their generosity in giving it when it is requested is humbling. Also, their mutual trust to show up is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It has taught me how to be a better friend and to be more unconditional in my selflessness. It has also taught me to be more thankful of my friends as I see them in light of their own generosity with me.

My favorite part about being around these guys is that their love and bigheartedness is contagious. Once they welcome you into their fold, they are not shy to give you so much. This leaves you no choice but to give at least just as much in return. I know that sharing my time and my friends with them has in turn tightened my net while simultaneously making it grow as their net and mine connect.

Specifically, at this last Friendsgiving I was thankful to have all of those hands to trust. I know for sure that if the lights hadn’t been bright enough or if the tent had melted that it would have still been a great party. That certainty is not easy to come by because it requires a very strong net to lean on. It also requires the unwavering belief that once you lean on it, that it will unconditionally hold you up.

So, thank you Friends for showing me (again) the strength of our net and for teaching me to trust it like you all do.

Happy Thanksgiving!